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What’s the Lowdown on All the Injuries?

What’s up with all the injuries? 9 players are injured for the Steelers game. I’m starting to think that the Browns should join a “flag football” league. Their injury prone, fragile, multi million dollar bodies could handle that better. How do you acquire an injury, during warm ups, that keeps you out for at least 2 weeks? It just show me that the players are not in shape. Don’t we have an off season conditioning program?

I can see it now. “Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is week 13 of the Browns season and starting today is Stallworth, after receiving millions of dollars, he’s finally getting into a game”. He tweaked his quad in warm ups back in week one. Then before game 3, he noticed a hang nail on his big toe, and couldn’t run. Here we are, week 5, and after some pain in his quad, and a hangnail, Stallworth is ready to go …. ooops … Stallworth just tripped coming out of the locker room and broke his nose. He is taking day by day. Week 9 has rolled around for the Browns and they are in a division race with the Steelers.

They are tied going into today’s game. Stallworth will be getting his first start today. OMG, just our luck, Stallworth woke up this morning with heamroids. The preparation H has not worked. He will be standing on the sidelines because he can’t sit down. Here we are Browns fans. Week 11 is here and the Browns are a game ahead of the Steelers. Will we ever get to see Stallworth? Well not this week.


His pet hamster passed away this Friday. Funeral services were Saturday, and Stallworth is really taking this hard. He has requested this Sunday off for personal grieving. Going into week 12, the Browns are now 2 games ahead of the Steelers at 8-4. Stallworth promises that nothing will keep him out of this game. Wait!! Newsflash, Stallworth’s girlfriend broke up with him Wednesday and he must go to counseling this week. I have never seen a man so distraught. Going into week 13, all the Browns are healthy for the first time this year. Guess who is starting today. That’s right, Stallworth. The Browns finish 10-6 and make the playoffs by beating out the Steelers by a game. Stallworth leads the NFL with 33 TD catches. He only plays 4 games of the regular season.

This has been a fictional public announcement on the need to be in shape when you play pro football. Don’t make your fans mad by not being in shape when the season rolls around. Follow your off season conditioning program, be healthy when the season starts, and “MOST of ALL”. Give us a much deserved championship in Cleveland. Go Browns.


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