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January 7, 1994 – The Cleveland Browns were playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Divisional round of the playoffs. The game was never really in doubt as Pittsburgh led 3-0 after the 1st Quarter, and was up 17-0 before the Browns ever scored. Halftime score: Pittsburgh 24 – Cleveland 3. After a 40 yard FG by Gary Anderson in the 3rd Quarter, it was 27-3 Pittsburgh and the game was all but over. The final score: Pittsburgh 29 – Cleveland 9.

I was only 8 years old and didn’t really know much about football at the time. I watched the games every opportunity I had with my dad, who was in the United States Navy at the time. All I knew was that dad loved the Cleveland Browns, and he hated the Pittsburgh Steelers.

We’d even listen to the games on the radio while driving from Virginia to Ohio. Whether on the radio, or on the television, dad’s emotions were intense. When Gary Anderson kicked that 40 yard field goal, I looked up at my father and simply said, “Dad, this game is over.” – that was a mistake. He flipped and was sure that Browns would come back to win, even though the Browns could only muster 186 total yards (Pittsburgh had 424). Vinny Testaverdae threw 2 INTs that game, and both times he was cursed thoroughly by my father. From that point on, my heart belonged to the Cleveland Browns.

We spent the ’95 season here in Ohio since dad was going to be overseas for a year. I remember all the hype the Browns had going into the ’95 season. I remember reading a Sports Illustrated article that picked the Browns to make it to – but lose – the Super Bowl. The Browns lost their season opener 17-14 to the New England Patriots, but then won three in-a-row.

It was then that I realized that I’d have to get use to heartbreak as a Browns fan. After sitting at 3-1, Cleveland then lost their next three games and even lost to the expansion Jacksonville Jaguars 23-15. Even after the Browns won the following week against the Bengals in overtime, the season was ruined for me. I spent a lot of time writing my dad letters about the ups and downs of the season. I made sure I included stats from every game, and included my analysis of how the Browns did. The hardest letter I ever had to write, came following Art Modell’s announcement on November 6 that he was moving our beloved Browns to Baltimore.

I cried my heart out in that letter, asking dad all the questions I had. I asked him how they were allowed to just up and leave. I asked him to come home, from overseas, to beat up Mr. Modell. My heart was breaking, and I wanted my father there to help me along. He was the only one who could understand what I was going through, but he was a million miles away. I made it through the rest of the ‘95 season, and never cried another tear until Cleveland’s last home game.

It didn’t even matter to me that they had just beaten the Cincinnati Bengals 26-10 because I knew that really was the last time the Browns would be in Cleveland. I remember wishing that I had a pause button to push so I could make time stand still, thinking that if I could do that I could keep the Browns from leaving Cleveland and when dad finally got home, he was going to beat the living snot out of Art Modell.

I watched in awe, as the fans that were at the game tore apart Cleveland Municipal Stadium. I wanted to be there so bad, and at a minimum I wanted to drive all the way to Cleveland so that I, too, could have a piece of the stadium.

When the Baltimore Ravens made their debut during the ‘96 season, I couldn’t watch. Instead, I watched all of the Ohio State games. Occasionally I’d watch a Cincinnati Bengals game, but it wasn’t the same – not at all. My heart was still broken and moving on without the Browns just didn’t make sense because my heart belonged to the Browns, and only the Browns. Knowing that they would eventually be back kept me holding on. I wanted to be the best Browns fan I could be, so I studied the history of the Cleveland Browns.

I asked millions of questions to my father about how he felt about the Denver Broncos and “The Drive”. I made a Cleveland Browns calendar so that I could count the days until the Browns made their return to the NFL. On August 9, 1999 the Browns finally made their return to the NFL in the Hall of Fame game against the Dallas Cowboys. It was a sweet day made even sweeter by a 20-17 Browns victory.

To the NFL world, the entire ‘99 season was a disappointment as the new Cleveland Browns went 2-14. To me, it was a success because the Browns were back where they belonged in Cleveland. I cried again (I’m not a big baby I swear) on November 14 of that year when the Browns beat the Steelers 16-15. I didn’t care about beating any other team that year besides the Steelers, and after a 43-0 drumming by Pittsburgh in the season opener I wasn’t sure it’d happen. I didn’t care about the scores, the stats, all I cared about was watching Cleveland Browns football on Sundays again.

I’m now 26 years old and my love for the Browns is greater now than it ever was. Like every Browns fan, I’ve experienced the heartbreak that comes along with rooting for the Browns. The Super Bowl era hasn’t been kind to our Cleveland Browns, and we’ve suffered through all the ups and downs the team has given us. I guess you could maybe say that I was scared into being a Browns fan on January 7, 1994 but I would’ve came around on my own eventually. I love the responsibility of being a Browns fan.

I hate the city of Baltimore – for taking my team away from me, and for winning a Super Bowl with them. I despise the Pittsburgh Steelers with every ounce of my being. The Cincinnati Bengals? Well I hate them too, of course. I may not be old enough to remember the Browns’ playoff battles against John Elway and the Denver Broncos, but all I ever had to do to figure that one out was to look up the game recaps – and there’s instant animosity.

I love Cleveland’s history and tradition – Jim Brown, Brian Sipe, Ozzie Newsome, Bernie Kosar and Eric Metcalf will always be my favorite Cleveland Browns. Like every other Browns fan, I wait impatiently for the NFL season to begin because I spend the entire off season convincing myself that this year is the that the Browns break through and win a Super Bowl. I cried (I know I know – again) a little when the Browns went 10-6 in 2007 and missed the playoffs. I dream of a season when the Browns, not only make it to the Super Bowl, but sweep Baltimore, Cincinnati and Pittsburgh.

I spend every single Sunday watching the Browns, and I’ve never been as excited as I am for this season to finally begin. Instead of writing letters to my father overseas, I now have the opportunity to write to every single Browns fan by writing for Brownsgab.com.

I’ve never been to a Cleveland Browns football game, but I’ve yet to miss a single Browns game on television since their return in ‘99. While in the United States Air Force, I spent a year in South Korea. Even then, with the time difference, I didn’t miss a game. I’d bring my laptop to work, sit it on my desk, and watch the Browns live on the internet.

Being a Browns fan isn’t about abandoning the team after a mediocre 5-11 season, but instead it’s about saying “There’s always next year.”. I may not have realized that I was a Browns fan until I was 8 years old, but you’ll never convince me I wasn’t born a Browns fan. I’ve loved the Cleveland Browns ever since that bitter defeat to the Pittsburgh Steelers on 1-7-94 and I’ve learned a lot about being a Browns fan over the years. It’s taught me lessons on hope, disappointment and heartache. I’ll spend the rest of my life rooting for the Browns and I’d take another 20 5-11 seasons, for just one Super Bowl victory. Simply put, I was born a Browns fan and I’ll die a Browns fan.

A special thanks to Matt Loede and Brownsgab.com for the opportunity they’ve given me. Writing about the Cleveland Browns is something I’ve done since I was 8 years old and it means a lot that I can share my thoughts and opinions with other Browns’ fans. This season is going to be a great one for the Dawg Pound! Go Browns!